Monday, August 3, 2009
Detective Shoots Himself And Partner
Detective Shoots Himself And Partner - Watch more Funny Videos
I like the end of this clip where the detective is shot and about to go to the hospital but before he leaves his boss has him come into his office so he can probably kick his stupid ass.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Joke of the day: Numba 69
A young Chinese couple gets married. Shes a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesnt know that.On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. "My darring, he whispers, I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten. I plomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually shyly whispers back , "I want to try something I have hear about from odda girls... Numbaa 69." More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her....
"You want......................Garlic Chicken wif snow pea?"
Laser Pointer Dog Attack
Laser Pointer Dog Attack - Watch more Funny Videos
Who needs laser-guided missiles when you have laser-guided Dobermans?
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Funny News: Don't Fuck with my lobster
A lobsterman in Maine has been charged with shooting a fellow lobsterman in what police say was a fishing turf dispute.Sixty-eight-year-old Vance Bunker was being held Tuesday on an elevated aggravated assault charge. He's accused of shooting Chris Young in the neck Monday on a Matinicus Island pier.
Maine State Police spokesman Steve McCausland says an argument over fishing territory escalated to the point where a marine patrol officer was called to the island, 20 miles off Rockland. He says the shooting happened in the officer's presence.
Young was flown to the mainland and taken to a hospital. He's in stable condition.
These are tough times for lobstermen. Prices are so low that some are talking about tying up their boats while waiting for prices to rebound.
Original Article here
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
How much is a trillion dollars?
Assume you had $1 trillion. And assume you have 40 years of life left. Assume you are awake for 16 hours each day of those 40 years.You’d have to spend over $70,000 dollars EVERY MINUTE for the rest of your waking life to burn through that cash.
A new house every 3 minutes. A brand new Cadillac Escalade every minute. A new Gulfstream 550 every 8 hours.
Yes, that’s the spending you’d have to do...
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Shockalicious
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| Shocking Video - Indian Man Electrocuted to Death on Top of Train |
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| This is actually the alternate ending to the famous clock tower scene at the end of Back to The Future I. |
Thursday, May 28, 2009
"No Homo" - lmao
No Homo - Urban Dictionary
It is added in a sentence:
1. to make it sound less gay.
2. to say if you're not kidding; Seriously.
1. Paul and I had each other's back all the time, no homo.
2. No homo though, Paul was a good friend.
How to Find Out a Girls Name After Youve Slept with Her
How to Find Out a Girls Name After Youve Slept with Her - Watch more Funny Videos
Figure out a womans name the morning after youve had sex.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
The ATV Joust Nutshot
The ATV Joust Nutshot - Watch more Funny Videos
Even after one thousand years, crushing a fat kid's balls with a jousting pole is still the sport of kings.
Friday, May 22, 2009
"Woman bites lover's penis off in car crash"
A boss and his secretary who were having an affair saw their romantic tryst interrupted in a wince-inducing manner - after a car crash led her to accidentally bite his penis off.
According to reports in China Press and Sin Chew Daily, the 30-year-old woman was performing oral sex on her boss in a car in a Singapore park, when the car was struck by a reversing van.
The impact caused her to bite the man's penis off.
Just in case this wasn't already bad enough for those involved, the incident was observed by a private detective who had been sent by the woman's husband to catch them out.
He described how, shortly after parking, the car started to 'shake violently' - but then was hit by the van. He said that the woman screamed loudly, with her mouth covered in blood.
Helpfully, the investigator called an ambulance to take the man to hospital. His lover followed him there, with part of his penis.
The investigator said he's never seen an incident like it before.
- http://perezhilton.com/2009-05-22-headline-of-the-week-weak-398#more-54121
Check out this Crap.... This is a case of Terrible Luck
Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire...
Try to figure out this song
Guess the Backwards Song - Watch more Funny Videos
Impressive memorization, but can you guess what the song is before the middle of the video? Hint: if you play this whole video backwards, you can hear a Satanic message.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Funny, True SNL Skit.
With all of the taco places coming up with bigger, better tacos for the public to enjoy, i found this skit pretty comical
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The Best Genie Story Ever
A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course,
the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of
the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to
go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy
drive is going to cost us.'
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.
A warm voice said, 'Come on in'
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done:
glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying
on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke
my window?'
'Uh..yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.
'Oh, no apology is necessary... ! Actually I want to thank you.
You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a
thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant
three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind,
I'll keep the last one for myself.'
'Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and
blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my
life.'
'No problem,' said the genie. 'You've got it, it's the least I can
do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'
'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.
'I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every
country in the world,' she said.
'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be
safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters! '
'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'
'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with
a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with
your wife.'
The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we
both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're
right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but
what about you, honey?'
You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same
for you!'
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest
of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and
looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you
and your husband?'
'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.
'No Kidding,' he said. 'Thirty-five years old and both of you still
believe in genies?????
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Eminem Debuts Horror Trailer for Next Single, ‘3 a.m.’
Unlike “We Made You,” though, this new clip from Eminem explores the darker side of the album, coming in sharp contrast with the light-headed atmosphere fans are accustomed to seeing in his other clips as well.
As a matter of fact, as Rolling Stone also points out, the preview, or short horror trailer, as it’s being labeled by the media, strikes a very familiar note with fans of this type of movies, since it combines elements specific to “The Ring” and even “Blair Witch Project.”“Based on the trailer, ‘3 a.m.’ will be the polar opposite of the campy ‘We Made You’ video, which makes sense considering the new song’s gory lyrics: ‘I remember the first time I dismembered a family member, December.’ The trailer is eerily reminiscent to the visuals of the VHS tape that killed people in ‘The Ring,’ consisting of a series of images that combine into a terrifying montage: A nurse wheels a cart down the hallway of an abandoned mental hospital, Eminem sits in a room and runs through the woods, corpses, scribbled notebooks and finally, Slim Shady with a butcher knife standing behind a security guard as blood literally climbs up the wall a la ‘The Shining’.” the publication writes of the short 30-second preview.
The full clip, directed by Syndrome, will premiere on HBO’s Cinemax on May 2 at 10 in the evening, Rolling Stone further informs, presumably because it will contain images that will be deemed too gory to air on the traditional music channels, such as MTV or VH1.
Useless to point out, as we speak, fans are already taking to dedicated forums to speak in highly appraising terms of Eminem’s upcoming video, saying, among others, that what the rapper needed to really make a splashing comeback was a bit of edge – which was obviously not the case with the “We Made You” clip. Eminem’s much-hyped and long-overdue, according to many, comeback album, “Relapse,” will drop in stores on May 19. Until then, keep an eye on this space for more details on the “3 a.m.” full-length video and enjoy the preview below.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
This is pretty neat.
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!It takes less than a minute .Work this out as you read ..Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like tohave chocolate (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 ...If you haven't, add 1758.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Happy April Fools Day!
Hilarious Japanese Pranks - Watch more Funny Videos
Happy April Fools. Here is a compilation of the best japanese scares. Enjoy!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
D squared
The child, named only as Artyom G, was born two weeks ago after a normal pregnancy in which medics did not detect any problems.But he has now undergone hours of complicated surgery at St Vladimir's Children's Clinical Hospital.
The boy was rushed from his maternity hospital to the specialist Moscow clinic where he underwent the length operation to join the two penises.
"The surgery was complicated. We had to form one penis out of two, make the abdominal wall and create a bladder," said a doctor involved in the five hour operation.
"When our colleagues asked for help we said yes immediately but we couldn't imagine the case would be so complicated."
According the The Sun, the hospital said that the baby is now in good health and the surgery a complete success.
"He will grow into a normal man and be able to have kids," the doctor added.
In June last year, a baby was born with a second penis on his back
The baby was born to farmer dad Li Jun, 30, and his unnamed wife, who live in Hejian city in central China's Henan province - the rare condition is called fetus in fetu (FIF).
Original Article Here
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
WOW - i still laugh at this
Fake - A person who pretends to like/listen to others as long as they can get something from them. Does nothing for anyone. When called on for doing something fake, can play innocent and act like the victim.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
N.Y. Post apologizes to some over Obama cartoon
NEW YORK (AP) — The New York Post is apologizing for a cartoon that critics say links President Barack Obama to a raging chimpanzee shot dead by police in Connecticut. But the newspaper also says the image was exploited by its longtime antagonists.
After two days of protests, the paper posted an editorial on its website Thursday saying the cartoon was meant to mock the federal economic stimulus bill, but "to those who were offended by the image, we apologize."
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Roomate Prank | Terrorist Shooter Prank
Terrorist Shooter Prank - Watch more Funny Videos
This guy sets up a speaker and plays loud gunshots while his buddy is sleeping.
Monday, February 9, 2009
WWE Wrestler Chris Jericho Punches a Girl
Chris Jericho Punches Female Fan - Watch more Funny Videos
The above video (which is full of violence and profanity) shows the pro wrestler Chris Jericho getting into a scuffle outside a WWE show in Canada. And even though Jericho at one point appeared to knock a woman to the ground, the WWE has released a statement saying it supports Jericho as just trying to defend himself.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
The Power of Doubt....
Now im no fuckin’ rocket scientest, but if I was to breakdown the plot of this movie, it would go down alittle something like this.
0:08 - Little Boy Gets Cracked in the back of the head
This shows how old fashioned and ruthless, Sister Beauvier really is. She will most likely be the nun that everyone fears. I imagine this movie takes place before the 1900’s, because i will be damned if she put her hands on me like that, Fuck around and get her wrist broke, Nun or not.
0:46 Sister James snitches on Father Flynn
Every movie always needs a good rat. Sister James will most likely be that typical nosey bitch always poking her head in other peoples business. Type of bitch you catch with her ear to your door listening in. However, Instead of minding her own business she decides to tell Sister Beauvier unnecessary information that will later get blown out of proportion and lead to the plot of the story. This will also be the downfall of Sister James’ character once she realizes Sister Beauvier is attacking Father Flynn for the wrong reasons and not for fuckin’ alittle black kid.
Now since Im not very religious, I went ahead and did some research to find out what a “Rectory” is. It’s not that i dont believe in god, I just have a weekend drug habit that disables me from waking up at 6am.
Rectory: an official residence provided by a church for its parson or vicar or rector.
So apparently this is where Father Flynn deflowered this little black kid.
1:01 - Sister James Confronts Father Flynn
This will be the climax of the story. Sister James will use her “doubt” to accuse Father Flynn of abusing a black boy sexually. Now i dont know about you, but something as serious as this, you better bring alittle more evidence than doubt. Only time a “doubt” is acceptable in our society is when you “doubt” things like:
” I doubt they will have the game at blockbuster”
“I doubt im going to go out tomarrow night”
When it comes to serious shit like fuckin’ little boys, you better have some hard evidence. Look at poor Michael Jackson. Went from Pop Star to Prison Pussy from doubt. Actually I take that back, he definetly fucked little boys, just like OJ did it.
1:28 - Sister James Tells Black Kids Mom of Father Flynn’s Actions
The mother of the little black kid is appauled by Sister James’ accusations. The lady feels Father Flynn has shown nothing but sympathy and compasion for her son, considering he is the only black kid in school.
2:09 - Father Flynn Has Enough
This wil lbe the breaking point for Father Flynn. He’s been hearing this bitch run her mouth all movie, and is ready to take a stand. He had a few too many people ask him if he fucked that boy and now he needs to prove his innocence.
FINAL SYNOPSIS
In the end, I feel the truth will show that Father Flynn did not touch that little boy. Sister James will be accused of maliciously attacking Father Flynn with false accusations and will be removed from the church. If there is anything we can take from this movie it is this:
“Doubt can be a bond as powerful as certainty”
-Entry written by: LookLaugh.com
Man accused of riding a horse drunk in storm
CODY, Wyo. - A man has been cited for public intoxication while riding a white horse during a snowstorm in the northern Wyoming town of Cody.
Police said they cited 28-year-old Benjamin Daniels, of Cody, after they received a call at 4 p.m. Sunday from a motorist who was concerned that a man was creating a road hazard by riding his horse on a street in conditions with poor visibility.
Assistant Police Chief George Menig said officers noticed that Daniels was intoxicated after they stopped him to explain that drivers were having difficulty spotting his slow-moving white horse.
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